In my own experience the more therapists push me away and try to terminate or refer the more I desperately cling on to them. Kinda like what bipolar warrior is saying, that when you find a therapist that will provide you with unconditional love and not push you away, that's when you will begin to heal and feel secure and ready to leave yourself.
There is something in your posts about your therapist and his own issues. Has he done his own therapy because it appears he isn't seeing how his counter transference is affecting your therapy. He perceives you as trying to control him and treating him like a drug, that's really interesting that he is feeling this but what you are describing is very different. You are aching for connection and reassurance, you want to be actively involved in your treatment and he is disempowering and infantilising you. I hope you can see that you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect (hug)

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