Feeling like you are not comfortable saying whats actually on your mind is definately conterproductive. Ive had msny therapists that i would feel misundetstood by and then get awkward and spend my sessions b.s.ing about minor stuff, small talk. Big waste of time. But you are right that it is important to have a thearpist to speak to if for no other reason just as part of your safety plan. I would continue seeing this therapist, while searching for someone who might be a better match. Look online ask around for reccomendations find out about insurance/ payment options. Some therapists do free intial visits/ phone interviews. Make a list of qualities you need in a T and also questions to ask in an intial meet. Therapy is not a "personal relationship", so you dont have to feel guilty or sneeky about exploring other options before "breaking up"with your current T. Hope you find what ur looking for. Good Luck!