This is similar to what I've been going through for months now, although maybe it started differently than how it did with you.

He doesn't directly tell me to find a new therapist, but he indirectly talks about it often. When we talk about how his distancing himself from me, never saying anything positive about me, and never expressing any feelings of affection or fondness for makes me feel, he tells me I have the choice to find another therapist. He has also recently said that if he felt the way i did from therapy, he'd go find someone else.

This has been extremely triggering to me and has made me so insecure, which in turns creates much attachment anxiety and fear, constantly feeling like he hates me and wants to get rid of me. Which in turn, leads to him doing it more.

This has been going on for months. I've tried to quit several times. Now i am closer to quitting then I've ever been. It might be soon. Previous attempts lead to feelings of going to die. It feels so traumatic to me, and even just thinking about quitting provokes really bad suicidal thoughts. Ironically, it would be so much easier to quit if he never brought up quitting in the first place.

What i wanted to tell you is that sometimes i wonder if the behavior is to provoke anger to 'work through'. At the time when things started getting worse, he's said we have to work through my anger (which manifests as depression according to him), and he likes to point out how angry i am now. So i wonder if it's done on purpose. If it is, it sure isn't effective, it's ruined our relationship. I mean, i feel horrible all week because of this, only to talk about how bad i feel for an hour each week? It's ridiculous.

I've always felt positive about therapy, but this last experience as led me to feel immense regret about going into therapy again. Things weren't like this the first couple of years, and certainly not with past therapists. Now, i am worse then i was when i started. After going through this for the past 6 months or so, my self worth is at an all time low, affecting my work and social life, and my health has been declining. It feels he is slowly abandoning me. It feels like when he got to know me, he decided there is nothing good about me as he never tells me anything positive and has since distanced himself from me. It feels like he set up the therapy to draw out these intense attachment feelings, only to cruelly neglect and reject me over and over. Why encourage my attachment feelings, only to withhold any sense of relational support from me? Only to have me suffer 24/7 and talk about how painful it is?

Another thought is that maybe he got sick of me, or feels ineffective or overwhelmed, or other feelings and wishes i would quit. I've read that therapists experiencing 'unrequited love' from clients can feel a lot of distress over it. I really wish he'd just tell me if this is the case. But he doesn't,and I ask directly. He denies it and says if he didn't want to work with me, he'd just say so. But i know he probably doesn't want to deal with forcefully ending with me, such as-what if i did kill myself if he ended it? He also blames it on 'transference'. I don't care what you call it, but i am not demanding he 'take care of my needs', i only ask for normal humanness one would experience in a relationship with another human being, especially one who is supposed to be helping me.

I don't understand it either. It seems to have permanently ruined our relationship. I don't know if the 2 other alternatives i added here helps, but maybe it's something to think about.

I hope it goes differently for you.