I felt scared. I wasn't in control so I called T and was kind of glad she "forced" me to go to the Emergency Room. I remember doing it and thinking "whatever - i'm just going to do it" and then when I realized what was happening being scared and repeating to myself "oh god, please dont let me die, please dont let me die, I have to get to the hospital as soon as possible!". When it was all over and well, I think it was a relief because my feelings were no longer a secret and I was receiving help. Never felt shame or regret (which one nurse said was like psychopathic or something like that not to feel remorse); but I did feel that about the thing that pushed me to finally do it.