Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
DBT is not just for borderline. They are the skills that normally healthy people have & learned in their normal life to deal with things that come up in their life.
The one huge thing I learned in DBT is that not all anxiety is bad. Anxiety is a normal part of every human's brain & it comes up in ALL people when there are things that have to be done. It is our mind & bodies way of telling us that there is something we need to do. Without it, we wouldn't end up doing anything.
Obviously we need to control the level so we can get those things done. That is why anxiety is like a wave. Also, distraction is wonderful for anxiety because the mind is incapable of thinking of more than one thing at a time. The distraction doesn't get rid of what is causing the stress anxiety but it does give needed relief.
I had two years of group DBT with the most wonderful psychologist that made the group more like a college learning class with group learning & sharing experiences as we learned. It was an awesome experience.
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How much anxiety is normal? I don't know. Those of us who grew up in dysfunctional families had a lot of drama and too much anxiety. I grew up in a stressful environment. I think I had PTSD at an early age. What I mean is I think my brain got wired to be high-strung. But I do believe the brain can be re-wired.
My boundaries are still not firm enough when it comes to certain people...certain family members.
I have been doing something new, and maybe you can tell me if this is a skill learned in your classes. When something doesn't need to be stressful or it can be less stressful I practice dialing down. I have found this works. Yesterday I interfaced with several people and all my interactions were really pleasing. I think by dialing down it left me open to more positive experiences. It was a relief from anxiety. I have been too socially isolated and these interactions are good for me.
On the other hand I had a message from a narcissistic brother this week. I should have ignored it but I didn't. My boundaries with family members are too loose. Well, at least I stopped before he had a chance to get nasty. I always try to have a "normal" interaction with him, as if I become ignorant to the fact he will assuredly attack at any moment. Even getting a message made me anxious. But I had the option to ignore it.
I think DBT is great. I don't have access to a group or DBT therapist but I have the workbooks and I have been filling out the worksheets. It might not be the best way to do it, but I am determined to continue. Thank you, Eskie, I have read all your posts in the DBT forum.