Quote:
Originally Posted by TrailRunner14
Ok - I think I've pondered the answer to my earlier question.
Maybe I'm experiencing the feeling of being in 2 "places" at one time.
There is a feeling that this isn't "real" - right now there is a very detached feeling. Maybe I'm experiencing the memory of the moment "cutting off" - going away.
Then -
There is an undercurrent of anxiousness and something else there that I can't put a word to. Could that be the rest of the memory that I can't see, but my body/emotions remember?
They don't feel like they are "together" but separate. It's like they are independent of each other.
Does that make any sense? I know it sounds "out there" but in my mind right now, it seems quite logical.
Thoughts?
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What you describe makes pefect sense.
the body memory part is always there.
Seeing your memory and being both in the memory and being the person who is seeing this? Being in two places at the same time? When I was still actively DID that was something I also experienced-- a disconnect/dissociation so complete you are in two places at once ( in your present perception and personal awareness)
I think all this is relevant to where you have come from, who all you have been ( in your parts and pieces) and who you will be after this is all worked through and made yours.
I think you must be really actively in therapy right now. Things are breaking loose and you are beginning to acknowledge the reasons and need for your being/living as you ahve in order to protect yourself until you were strong enough to work through all this and bring it all together into yourself.
Take care. Be patient with yourself and generous in attending to your needs, as you continue to work through this in therapy.
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