feeling negative and scared. worried about going to work. the head bookkeeper texted me tuesday morning asking me why register 5 is 400$ short. i didnt know. i told her i didnt run on 5. she just said okay. im worried about whats going to happen when i get there. am i going to get written up? did i mess up and cant remember? am i going to get fired?

i question my ability to persevere if something bad happens. i am feeling very fragile and just broken down already. i dont know how i will manage a whole 8 hour shift if i get there and something bad happens.

i keep looking at toby and telling him i wish i was him. i know that will never happen though, and i have to just grow up and be an adult.