Thanks for giving me something to think about. I would not want my daughters in a marriage like mine. We don't fight in front of the kids but they can feel the tension. My son who is the oldest did come out of his room one night so see his dad pinning me down on the couch yelling at me while I was screaming and crying for him to get off of me. It the whole fight or flight, he wants to fight and I just want to get the hell out of there so he hold me down so I cant leave. Im worried about what will happen to my kids. They are all so amazing, smart, caring, compassionate, considerate kids. Truly the best kids anyone could ask for. They are this way because of the both of us. Im afraid of how a divorce will affect them. I don't want to uproot their life because I'm not happy. At the same time your points are all valid as well. I would be mortified if my daughters stayed in the marriage I have.... food for thought for sure!