I am not sure if emotionally unavailable has been talked about, sure it has but I apologize for bringing it up. I was asked by someone am I emotionally unavailable? Are you living or existing? For me, I have been existing for a long time (I am 30). With my emotions, not sure how to be emotionally available. For example, at work I was listening to the students' issues about medical and something else. I listened to them then within 5-10 mins into listening I drifted off to someplace else hardly acknowledged or use any kind of empathy.

I was thinking recently no one gave a damn to listen to my issues all of my life so I have to sit here and listen to others? I know sounds cold and mean. A friend of mine said you give facts instead of using your feelings/emotions which is true. In social situations, my mind drifts off to somewhere and not really hearing what's going on around me basically I am not in the present the here and now.

Since, I was also told by people how I don't show emotions/excitement/etc I tend to mask everything an old defense I had to do all of my life more like forced than anything else. It's all due to a ton of invalidation and mistrust all of my life. I was able to open up somewhat to friends about what is going on. I am afraid of being in the same bs for years of being judged, not feeling valued, not listening to me/needs/wants/etc, or just being dismissed in general. I have a hard time being available asking is everything okay?

I was wondering does anyone know of any good workbooks to use to work on your own emotions? Trying to see if I can find a good one online before I go back to therapy. How do you be more emotionally available?