Ew, sorry I should have said - these are good things! I think. But its also weird and disturbing. I have a thing about being manipulated. Im pretty sure (undiscussed with T) that if i perceive I am being manipulated in any way, acts as a trigger. Also, no one has ever really spoken to me about DIDishness. Even my T will not acknowledge who I really am So its very very weird to have them play me and 'experiment' and most of all - understand me. Its pretty exposing to be honest. I've never told them nothing, so to have them kind of say to me - Hey, you, with the DIDishness - we see you. Its harder for me to deny. How can I be making it up when two relative strangers figure it out for themselves? It was horrible at first because they really did experiment on me but now one in particular has such a deep understanding of me and uses that to get the best out of me. (most of the time, anyway ) I feel very very lucky. And vulnerable!

The other boss is the one who recruited me in the first place, and he's a total entrepreneur and is always setting up new businesses. I had this weird phone call that day from a recruitment agency on my work phone, asking me to apply for a senior management position within a new start up company. The way they spoke, the words they used - he sounded just like my boss. Literally used the same lines that he used to hook me in to my current role (not the kind of the thing that normally would enter this kind of conversation). I've done a bit of research and I know the person that would connect this recruitment agency (which consists only of one person) to my boss. Also, any other recruitment agency in the world would call on my personal phone- no one has my work phone number. So its a nice thing that it happened, but I don't understand the coyness (they wouldn't say who was doing the recruiting, wouldn't send me a job description, were really coy about it). So that makes me wonder if this was a test or something from my bosses. Most of me thinks its for real, with some element of testing included. either way - ARGHGHGHGHGHGHGH just stop manipulating me and playing puppet master and just have an open / honest conversation! Things like this shouldn't make me angry but they do. Why can't he just ask me what they want to know?