I don't know what this is, but I can relate to having strange fantasies. Mine relate to wanting to be overpowered, control, and masochism. I don't think there's anything wrong with having fantasies like this, but I would advise you not to bruise yourself anymore. You might end up doing more damage than you mean to. I think if you really want to know what this means and what it could be, you should talk to a therapist about it.

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