Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
I wonder if a client-centered therapist has to be proven as an LGBT therapist as well in order to be helpful to you. I only mention this because it might be that looking beyond experienced LGBT therapists would expand the pool of possible therapists in your area, and because the client-centered approach requires therapists to be accepting of whatever clients bring into the room, whether or not the T has a lot of previous experience with that material.
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I'm just not interested in searching for a new T. I don't have the time, energy, or desire to do it again. It's not something I want.
Even if I did, I don't want a T who doesn't identify with the LGBT community. I've seen more straight Ts than queer Ts in the past, and it always is a big problem (even if they are client-centered). It's not about being "accepted," it's that they just don't "get it." I already feel different/misunderstood and constantly have to correct misperceptions and explain myself to my straight family and straight colleagues, and I don't want to have do that in therapy as well. It's exhausting and frustrating. To give an example, for me, seeing a straight T feels like someone who is Jewish (and whose primary identity is their religion/culture) seeing a Christian therapist, who practices Christian-centered therapy. They just don't have the cultural understanding and they can't relate to me in the same way. Talking to someone who isn't queer or hasn't worked heavily with the queer community just doesn't "get" my language and my experience. Having to translate and explain things to a straight T feels like "code-switching," if you're familiar with the term. Especially since dating is a topic I want to talk about. They never understand the terms I use, why it's hard to be high femme looking for another high femme in the rural/Midwestern area I am in, why I don't relate to or like the stereotypes that are thrown at me by well-meaning but clueless people, why I don't "fit in" with the butch-centric or butch/femme coupled lesbian community here, or why it's frustrating to constantly be misread as "straight" or asked "why are you so picky about dating such femme women? You'd have more options if you were more open" or "but you're femme, don't you want someone different from you?" I just don't want to waste my time in therapy explaining everything to a T just to get her up to a basic level, on which I could even begin therapy. And I doubt it would ever be helpful. It would just be me paying her, in order to educate her. I've done it in the past, and it was awful. I would go home feeling like I just had one of those conversations where I tried to explain myself to my elderly, Republican father who really wants to get it and means well (and does accept me), but just can't get his mind around it.