Not sure which forum since no one really wants to diagnose or deal with my issues. It might be complicated. ALL of my life I have dealt with demons. Later on in morphed into depression and several attempts at suicide. I have been sick with a rare stomach issue that prevents me from taking anything of caloric value with in the digestive system for the last two years and the pain that goes with it.
That brings me to the point where I am at posting for help as a last ditch effort. Thursday I tried acupuncture which really sent me for a mental loop. During the session I was left alone on the table for 20-30 minutes in extreme pain. I could see the demons digging the needles in further causing more pain. I then had surgery on Friday and in an extreme amount of pain. Now I want to literally rip my face off, stab myself, or some other form of hurting myself to get a brake from the pain Im in. Replacing pain with pain seems confusing to others but makes sense to me. Pain Ive had for years needs to be replaced. I cant even escape in the few hours of sleep I get without the pain or the horrific nightmares. I dont know what to do? Fighting the huge urge to hurt myself!!