(((Confused))))

Nothing is wrong with you.

Is it possible that T might be protecting you? That he doesn't want to see you hurting so badly....Maybe he is trying to slow the process down a bit so you don't become overwhelmed. In retrospect I know that is exactly what my T did, because I kept becoming retraumatized in his office in the first few months.

And, being retraumatized doesn't do any good nor does it help us integrate our experiences. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain right now. I'm so sorry. I hope you can let T know what you were thinking and feeling and ask him to explain why he said what he did.

I do know how hard thist is. After a year, I still have trouble speaking up. I remember when I first began with T a year ago, I kept reading "The Courage to Heal," hoping for answers. Some sections I read over and over. I haven't looked at the book in about six months!

T told me the healing takes care of itself. I think I finally see what he means, so, we don't have to beat ourelves over the head with a blunt healing insrument. The healing comes through the working through of the relationship, something I am only beginning to do. I realized last week that I am only in the beginning of my therapy.

Although I did not do DBT training like Alex mentioned, I think T has been laying the groundwork this past year so we can begin to do some real work.

I wish you the best on your journey.