Well, I am just going with what you are telling us.
You said you were 'tested', evaluated, but not diagnosed.

If you want a diagnosis, you can arrange for one yourself.

That they are joking about you&autism, talking about you as you have autism, going around your back because they feel they need to 'protect you' because you have autism, that is all wrong on their part.

If they can't tell it is wrong, tell them.
If they don't care it is wrong, I don't know.