Many people with Asperger's/ HFA don't have a formal diagnosis. I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 30's because they didn't test for it when I was growing up. Also, a lot of aspie behavior is just written off as being quirky, shy, or attributed to some other diagnosis like OCD or ADHD. A lifetime of misdiagnosis is not uncommon.

I understand your anger and frustration at finding out about this test from your childhood and that you weren't told. I too was rather upset at finding out I was on the spectrum in adulthood, even though it wasn't something anyone knew about when I was young. I still think about how different my life could have been with access to treatment option, therapy, proper coping mechanisms. On the other hand, I've seen CBT and ABA for the bulls**t they are, and am glad I dodged those bullets in my early years.

The thing is, if you are on the spectrum, diagnosis or not, you can start learning about it and how to manage your anxiety and stimulation levels now that you have the information you do. I found it extremely liberating finally knowing why I had never fit it and never understood people all my life, and also knowing that it's okay to stim; it's okay to need my downtime; it's okay to get frustrated with dealing with people all day, and it's okay to be me.

You can't change the past, but you can work on having a better present and future.