I have been right there in your situation and know how very painful and miserable it is. I really feel for you. I talked about it, and talked some more. Talk about it all you need. It does get easier, really it does. I couldn't see a way through it at the time and cried so much I thought I couldn't cope. In hindsight (what a wonderful thing) I can see that it was a process I needed to go through. My T was great with my feelings for her, she handled them gently and professionally. Boundaries were tightened at one stage because she could see it was doing me no good...at the time I hated her for it and lashed out so bad I feared she would terminate me at the next session, now I have nothing but respect for her and can see that was needed.
Hang in there, it does get better.
I hope you can talk about this and your T handles your feelings with care.
I'm coming to the end with my T in two weeks for the summer and that has been hard to work through, it still is some days but the grief isn't as intense anymore.
*hugs*

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