Quote:
Originally Posted by adam_k
I don't think suicide ideation is always a symptom of depression. Depression has a strong checkbox as that being a symptom.
Other mental illness could have suicidal ideation. People with psychosis can sometimes hear voices that say to hurt themselves. I had a friend that told me about what goes on in her head. It sounded very painful and disturbing. A mother figure named violet to be exact that said awful things.
Some cultures don't always see suicide as a unforgivable action. Japanese people have have a lot of value in honor and if that is destroyed then they can commit suicide. That is my understanding. I could have a wrong understanding of the ritual.
There are a lot of things in life that can happen where people don't want to go on and they don't have depression or mental illness. A spouse dying or kids. Losing a home and becoming homeless. Getting a painful and incurable illness and not wanting to endure it. I think there is a quality of life evaluation some people make and decide they cannot cope with it.
Traumatic events can be a huge cornerstone in someone mental well being. Not in a good way. Some thing happen and you are never the same. I think a lot of time it is the victim of an event that hurts the most. But I can see if guilt overwhelms someone even 20 years after they done something they cannot forgive themselves for. Guilt or pain from these events can become too much to cope with if they are never healed and eat away at someone well being.
I think a good support system will definitely help someone with mental illness. I think it would also help someone be safe from themselves. I don't think the amount of support would totally diminish wanting to die if that is a symptom of your depression.
Suicide has a lot of risk factors. History of depression, drug abuse, prior attempts etc.
I don't think we should have a say in what people think or making people ashamed and never admit they have these thoughts. I think that causes more guilt and shame. I also believe people should be kept safe from themselves if they aren't in a capacity to make decisions, the same way someone that is under psychosis isn't left on the street where they are trying or tried to hurt someone.
Depression is really hard. It makes everything not fun, painful, lonely, gray, and it isn't a huge leap to want to escape that anyway you can. For a lot of people depression can be managed or diminishes until it no longer affects someone's life. There isn't a time line on this and some of us draw the short straw and keep dealing with it.
I think I alway had depression. I would fake being sick s lot because I didn't want to be around anyone when I was in school. I isolated a lot, slept way more than what a healthy person would. Then in my teens it got worse. I've had several years where I wasn't depressed and I've had several years where I was.
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What you've said has really struck me. I was a happy child although I have joked many times about my being the definition of middle child syndrome (so much that I can tell you about that) I was accomplished, smart and outgoing. Yet I experienced sexual abuse from someone my parents trusted and the only time I ever mentioned it, my disclosure was met with an angry and blaming response from my narcissistic and controlling mother so I never mentioned it again. I am a biracial woman and when I was 11 my parents embarked on a tour of the world, never staying in one place for more than 18 months, during which time I endured racism and rejection in every place I lived (don't even ask me about the rejection I felt from within my own household from being the one who didn't fit in or conform to the rules of risk aversion and boredom). I have joked to people many times about how my parents dragged me around the world to be rejected by every community I ever encountered.
There was a time in my teens where I thought I would never make it to my 18 th birthday because of suicidal thoughts. There have been many other negative experiences which are too numerous (and probably for anyone else) far too boring and tedious to go into - basically I seem to have a knack for attracting abusive and psychotic individuals who view me as something to destroy mentally.
In later adulthood I have reached a point where I can think about suicide many times a day (I have it all worked out but keep tweaking it) to the point where I can bore myself and put the thoughts aside. This scares me more than having clear ideation as it feels almost like making a shopping list and when the time comes to do the shopping I will just end doing it with the robotic matter of factness as I do everything else.
I have not actually attempted suicide but there is no doubt in my mind that I could perfect it in one go and this scares me too.
I go to work and hold down an accountable and responsible full time job, I have always paid my way, I have somehow managed to raise 2 very intelligent and capable kids and yet my value in my own eyes is zero.
I apologise to anyone who reads this for the rant but what I can say is that it is 100% truthful.