My parents couldn't cope with me when I was younger so they sent me to stay with friends and family etc, this plays out massively in my therapy in that I keep thinking my T won't be able to cope with me and will say I have to leave. When I dropped something on the floot last week I was scared of her response because of the response that I would have got in the past or that I do get now from H. That is the transference for me. How common is it? Very, I would say, in all areas of life, not just therapy. It is a normal brain pattern.

But I am also strongly attracted to the motherly side of my T and I don't think this is transference because I have never had this in my life before and so I don't see how it can be transferred. This is just a natural longing for something that has always been missing.