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confused4ever said:
Next we start to talk about working on my inner child, I told him that I havent' been able to do alot, because right now where I am in the work book, is pretty painful stuff. When I do it, the memories flood back along with all the emotions I was feeling then, and how can I do this work, if I can't get past the feelings I am having........so........and here is where I am so confused.....he told me to stop the work, take a break

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confused, if the inner child work is traumatizing for you, would it be better to work on it in therapy, rather than on your own without your T there for support? Did he tell you to work on it outside of therapy? I find that odd for such a major direction and new and difficult exploration to be undertaken on one's own without the therapist.

Maybe his telling you to stop the work and take a break is because he realizes now that you should not be doing that work on your own without his support. But I guess I would expect him to then tell you that if you want to do inner child work, to do it in session. Have you ever asked him why you are supposed to be doing this outside of session?

It sounds like you had a rupture in therapy with him seeming to be telling you things contradictory than before. I'm sorry. That's so painful and I can understand why you feel pushed aside.

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I am so confused........hurt..........angry.........ok mad as hell........because I feel like nothing I am feeling matters...........put it back in the box and leave it there, for another 30 years

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I hope you can tell your T this. I know when I was so angry at my T a couple of weeks ago, when I was able to talk about it, it turned out part of it had been a misunderstanding. It sounds like it would be really helpful to clarify with your T what he is really saying.

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Am I that much of screw up that therapy isn't ever going to make me better either.........just stop doing it!!! I cannot believe he said that to me

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When you reported his words, it did not sound like he said that. At least to me. It sounded like he was more saying you don't need to work on this now if it is so difficult. Take a break from the inner child work (not therapy). You can work on it in a year or 5, if need be. When you are ready. I think that is meant to be reassuring--no pressure to do this now. But he didn't say to leave therapy, did he?

You have another therapist too, don't you? The trauma specialist? Maybe that person would be more comfortable doing the inner child work with you and understand it might be better to do this together.

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What would you do???

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I would go back to therapy and clarify what happened at the session. See if your interpretation is really what he said and meant. Share with him the things you have written here. If you can't have that conversation, write it out in clearly and hand it to him in session and let him read it and respond. Maybe a goal of your therapy right now could be learning to communicate better rather than doing the really painful child work. One of the things my T taught me and my husband when we went for couples therapy was to always seek clarification and not to assume the worst about the other person's meaning and jump to conclusions. It's not easy, but it does help. Not sure if that is relevant to your situation...

I hope you will make a new appointment. You deserve it. Don't give up on therapy or your T yet.