[QUOTE=ruh roh;5122363]The thing is, you didn't ask your therapist if your response was valid; you asked if it was normal. So I would probably have taken his reply to be somewhat tone deaf and dismissive. Sort of like answering a question, do I fit in here, with, well, you have a right to look however you look.

Ruh-Roh, exactly! Interpreted one way, its actually undermining someone by pretending to affirm them. To translate - 'your concern is not valid'. You should not be worrying about whether or not you fit in. That is the WRONG thing to worry about. Likewise, it is wrong to be concerned about whether your reaction is 'normal'.These messages are undermining when a person DOES have certain concerns.