I'm addicted to opiates, mentally anyway. Ever since the first time I used one (cough syrup with codeine when I was sick), I just love them. I've been so careful around them, though. My boyfriend also watches me so carefully whenever I have any kind of opiate available, he always worried about me getting addicted when I was prescribed different meds for pain. Now I don't have any active prescriptions, but he occasionally (2-3 times a month) buys some pills from a friend for pain. And, on weekends, if he gets enough he offers me one. I can never say no, but it's never enough. I hate myself for it. Especially right now, when I'm already feeling hopeless and self-destructive from my depression. I got a couple of morpines over the weekend, one each Saturday and Sunday nights. It's never enough, I want more all the time. I don't want to quit but I hate myself for using them.