So, I've been struggling with the clinic I go to right now. Not quite so much with my current therapist, but definitely with my pdoc and the clinic's policies. My pdoc has shown very little caring about me, and I've been angry with him since our last appointment, like 2 weeks ago. I wanted to change docs, and was told that the policy at the clinic is to get approval from your current pdoc before scheduling anything. That got me even more angry! Not to mention that it took almost a full week for them to get back to me with his "approval". So last week I started looking for another provider. It took a couple of days of having the phone numbers, but I called around today and got an appointment with someone for the 30th of this month. It's further out than I would like, but not quite as far out as I expected to get.

Now I'm super anxious about the next few weeks until that appointment. I heard from my current clinic right after I scheduled that appointment, letting me know that I got the OK to change pdocs and wanting to schedule me with someone else. That's not until next month, so I have time to make any changes necessary if I end up changing to this new provider. I'm also so anxious about seeing my current t again. We have an appointment next week and the week after. I don't really want to go anyway, and was already considering cancelling my appointment next week. But now that I'm planning on going somewhere else, I really don't want to go. But if I don't go and just cancel everything, I could end up SOL if this new provider doesn't work out. I'm just so nervous about it all, I've never "shopped around" for therapy before. I didn't have a choice when I first went, because I was underage, and the second t I saw was in college, so I didn't have many options but it didn't matter because I liked her a lot. I guess I just thought it would work out that way this time again, and it's making me anxious.