_________________________________________________________________

I felt compelled to reply specifically to this comment because that is a dangerous choice of words. You are right, parents do not cause an eating disorder but an eating disorder is CERTAINLY not the sufferers choice either. There is a reason why eating disorders are diagnosable mental illnesses. There is a saying common in ed treatment that "while the ed is not a choice, recovery is." This is true, recovery has a significant amount to do with both a will to recover and resources available. It's still unclear what exactly causes an eating disorder but the general thinking is that there is a biological/biochemical/genetic vulnerability which creates a predisposition for sensitivity and perfectionism. It's then a unique mix of environmental factors and life experiences that trigger the vulnerability and turn it into a full fledged eating disorder. The greatest misnomer is that eating disorders are about being thin. They are not. Disordered eating may be, but a clinical eating disorder is an emotional coping mechanism, a way to gain control or safety when it feels as if everything else is falling apart. But the truth is while you feel like you have control, the eating disorder has usurped your control and ran away with it. I'm 11 years into my own journey to recover from anorexia and bulimia and have met hundreds of other sufferers over the years. I've lost too many. I've come so close to losing my own life. It's so important to make it clear that eating disorder behavior is in no way a choice. I haven't met one person who would choose to slowly and painfully destroy themselves in this way. It's also important for loved ones to not go down the rabbit hole of blaming themselves. Eating disorders are complicated and intricate and unique for each person. I've found that the best thing for parents/loved ones to do is simply to love us through it. Recovery can take years. Keep holding on to that love and support.