I have been reading some books on "borderlines" recently. Borderline mothers, actually. They will produce borderline children (us). Though the books are not perfect, here are two references:

Surviving a Borderline Parent

Understanding the Borderline Mother

(These books have longer titles, but these will serve for searches.)

Another book I got recently, and that fits into my understanding, is

The General Theory of Love

As I said, none of these books is perfect; I see things in all of them that I disagree with. But they are quite helpful for me.