I feel like I'm fighting a battle I don't know I can win. It seems they - whoever "they" are - would have us believe that if we're doing our best, looking for help, getting therapy, taking medicine, being accountable - whatever - our depression will be controlable. But is that true? I have this fear - but at the same time I don't fear it - that my depression is going to win no matter how hard I try to fight - and I'm giving it all I have! But the pull to suicide is so strong. Am I just not supposed to allow myself to think like this? But it sticks with me. I've heard it said depression can be fatal... as if suicide may not always be preventable. What if it's not? What if I'm fighting a losing battle?
Wish I could know. :-\