Since Mondays heavy session, I've had a feeling of contentment and peace come over me. I keep checking to see if I may have gone completely mad and not noticed it? LOL

But no, I seem to be able to find the saucepan in the kitchen and still use it correctly and am not wearing it so I guess I am sane? LOL

But its like a big load of regret has been replaced by a actual belief that my life today is here to stay and I am not going to be catapulted back into the dungeons of an unhappy childhood.

I keep looking at my family, hubby and 3kids and boyfriends and galfriends of kids and feel this wonderful sense of awe! There mine! what have I done to deserve it?

I keep looking back at things that have caused me great pain before and see it as just part of what made me who I am today, instead of looking at it as something to be rid off.

Maybe I am mad? Perhaps I'm sitting a padded cell fantasying that Im sitting on my sofa feeling content and glad to here? and in a minute some food will be passed to me via a hatch in the door? LOL

Either way, I guess either I'm not mad and am finally happy? Or I am mad and don't know it anyways? LOL