I have done a lot of suicide attempts, I guess about 50 of them. 5 ambulance rides. 7 days in the ICU. One sectioning. A couple of voluntary psych hospitalizations. Scars on my throat and wrists. Stitches.
Last suicide attempt almost succeeded - if my parents had gotten home and found me a couple of minutes later, I wouldn't be here.
I feel disappointed after each failed attempt. I'll succeed one day.