After each time I woke up I kept thinking "I didn't kill myself.. I failed, I'm not even capable of giving up" I felt angry and ashamed and more miserable as you can see.
Then later, after failing several times, I chose another way of giving up, which was simply not doing anything. Not killing myself, not responding, not hoping, not feeling, not thinking, just nothing. Survived the passing days as a robot waiting to run out of juice.
Just recently a friend of mine told me "Live your life to the fullest, this is what we have, all we've got is our lives. Don't waste it without living it. Try to be happy and try to feel because that's exactly what makes us alive."

My perspectives were altered! Why did I spend those years without enjoying my life? I'm not sure about afterlives, but if there was nothing waiting for me when I die, wouldn't I be blowing the only chance of "living"? If you're asking "What's the point of living your life to the fullest then dying to find nothing?" Well, at least you're happy, at least you didn't miss out the great things you could do with your life. Again, all we've got is our lives, so don't waste it.