Hi Sula, it is awful isn't it.No,I haven't reached out to my cousin for many years,when I did reach out it was hard to help her cos she is codependent with her mother and ultimately she got confused and gave her loyalty to mum and wouldn't listen to me.I did at one point persuade my cousin to move out into a group home, she had her own self contained flat and had a caretakers keep an eye on her.But her mum fully interfered with her life and continued taking over with cleaning and shopping and interfered in any relationships my cousin made.

Later there was a charge called the bedroom tax introduced so my aunt living alone in the two bedroom flat was charged £14 a week for having a spare room in social housing ,which she couldn't afford,so she persuaded my cousin to move back in with her in another area.

What can I do?The best thing for my cousin would be to move away from her mum completely.I don't know what is happening now,they cut me out of their lives.They don't want to know me!

To be honest they are toxic to me like my own sister whom I also cut out of my life,she is a narcissist too and I went through 35 years of abuse with her.You can read about it on other posts in other threads on here.

I hope you are able to stay close to your father,when he goes just cut her out of your life if you can,if you function ok on your own now don't let her change that if you lose your father.Keep her at a distance and if she needs help don't you be the one to give it is my advice.You can protect yourself especially if you know it is coming.I wish you all the best.Message me anytime,I will look out for your posts.Marylinx