wish there were a roadmap. or at least a few signs. personally havent found meds that worked. therapy always a bust. and i am an expert in self-destruction. its tiring teetering on the edge all the time. an ex of mine had a great book, "i hate you dont leave me". (checked for authors name just before posting but forgot it. sure you can find by title though). ive found that if absolutely nothing else, having one person who understands you, understands the illness, and accepts all of it, can be as good or even better than any drug or therapy. i of course drove that person away, but learned from the relationship to be honest bout what im going through, even if its just with people here. bottling it up seems to be the worst. (in my case anyways).
Hope you find something that works. if you do be sure to let us know.