I've been struggling for depression and panic for just over three years now, and for the past year I've had this unbelievably intense depression and anxiety first thing in the morning. I know it's common for people's depression to be worst in the morning, but the intensity of mine in the morning makes me feel like it's some sort of "special" type of depression. I wake up feeling like I'm at the bottom of a well. It's horrific. It's SO incredibly dark and painful thoughts just flood me. I write myself notes the night before and keep them by the bed to remind myself to get up and out of bed and out of the house as soon as possible. I write myself notes saying that I love and accept myself. I write a list of things to do to keep myself busy and occupied.

The really strange thing is, almost every day it "shuts off" at some point in the afternoon. At some point, the obsessive thoughts and overwhelming sadness just stops and I'm "safe" until the next morning. If I'm lucky, it shuts off by 1 or 2 in the afternoon. If I'm unlucky, like I was today, it lasts until 8pm and I just have a few hours before I go to bed and it starts over again.

I have been desperately trying to trace what it is that shuts it off and I just don't know. It seems totally random.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this?