i felt the same way at one point in my life. i would get beat so often i felt a void when it wasn't happening. my husband is a really nice guy and would not want to physically hurt me. during our first year of marriage i actually asked him to hit me to make me feel better. he wouldn't instead he just kept telling me how much he loved me and wouldn't leave or hurt me

maybe if you find out the underlying reasons you want to be hurt maybe you could find a solution to stop the desire for injury.

i hope this helps at least some. know that you are not alone in that feeling.

Linda