I really agree with that. Both of my office romances (which were firing offenses that I, fortunately, was not fired over) turned out badly. Both at the same job. But the first found another job before our real romance blossomed - and we married - but the second could have ended my marriage before it had started.

I walked on very dangerous ground that left me wide open for a further false and dangerous and, well, sick sorts of sexual discrimination/harassment charges. No matter how large the company or false the accusations or secret the proceedings everyone eventually finds out. Even though everyone who testifies signs a legal EEOC confidentiality document that says, win or lose, they will not disclose any information concerning their testimony or anything else that they may have learned concerning their testimony or the testimony of others, it leaks. By the time I would leave a conference room and reach my office (maybe 100 yards away?) my phone would be ringing with questions concerning my freshly disclosed testimony.

I was married by then and I had to tell my wife. That wasn't met with joyous banter. Since I needed my wife to back me up with days of alibis, I had to have her testify and walking her through the whole time that led up to the accusation was no fun at all.

What felt so bad is that this poor woman, I think, may have actually believed her accusations. I felt as if I, or the company, should pay for counseling for her but our employment lawyers said that would come too close to admitting guilt (of some kind - acknowledging a smidgen of guilt?).

My job lost a bit of its luster after that. I had always liked and trusted most of my employees. I didn't suppress things that had no business being secrets. I wasn't everyone's best friend but I was a good, and funny, boss. I didn't get fired because I wasn't guilty but if I had been guilty?

Making my too-long-in-coming-point: never, never, never have an office romance unless one of you is willing to resign before the romance actually begins. There's still a chance that it won't begin. That the secrecy is the thing, and the only thing, that excites the libido.

You never know...