My family tried. They were loving in outward and affectionate ways. My folks were both also depressed and resentful.
I grew up being told that children should be seen and not heard. I would only tell them things they could brag about to their friends who were over often, drinking. Both of my parents are hardcore alcoholics, mentally ill and in denial of both. My mom is bipolar(I'm guessing here) alternating between garish and flirty behavior(busy hands busy hands) and crying fits telling me how much I ruined her life. My dad has always been wildly depressed. I spent every weekend of my childhood watching him get wasted and talk about killing himself. (While my mother chattered on in the background about God knows what)
My mother was always angry and dismissive.
I have a brother. He got slapped a lot. He stopped caring for himself as a teenager, no bathing, no deodorant, no motivation. My parents did nothing. He eventually joined the military and has a decent life, even though he got discharged for not taking care of himself. We aren't close, mainly because he took his anger out on me as a teenager.
I started falling apart at sixteen. Starving myself And exercising three hours a day while going to school and working. I passed out at work. No sweat from mom and dad. I got arrested the following year for a horrible bout of "criminal mischief", about 20,000 in damages done. Cutting, screaming, taking drugs.No sweat from mom and dad. I felt so violent. For years this went on. Stability, inertia and then flare ups of horrific behavior. Running away from my life and leaving them with the bill. Hitchhiking cross country. Suicide attempts. Huge credit card bills. Starting and not finishing school on every topic imaginable.Running back across the country. Being brought home bloody by the cops.Still no sweat from mom and dad.
I don't know if they were too drunk to notice, or just in denial. Either way, it forced me to develop excellent coping mechanisms. I've always had to deal with things on my own. So I do. It has caused me to be wary of meds to a certain degree because I've always figured it out without. What I have learned though, is that on them I can hold onto the people in my life. That's new.
I keep a distance from my family and don't share my struggles. They never supported me before, why ask now?

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