Thank you so so much both of you for your replies ! It's so helpful and good to know that there are some people that feel with you ,listen to you and give you some help!!

Jimi you are absolutely right ! I have to trust in the diagnosis from the therapists I have seen ! But it's very hard ! Everytime I try and everytime I feel even less better the "what if" thoughts coming in my head ! What If my pdoc misdiagnosed me ! What if I haven't told the important things and missed something? What if I have insight because of my research in the Internet and because of that I can observe me slipping slowley into psychosis ? It's a never ending story in my head ☹️

Mama pajama it's so so good to read ,that you could overcome this horrible fear ! I live with that for nearly 2 years now and nothing really seems to help �� I just wish from the deepest of my heart that one day I can say that I could overcome this fear without actually went crazy!