I am sorry. In court the people defending the rapist are taking any chance to discredit you. It is not personal at all. They do not know you. It is a job to them. Do not let it affect you. You are brave! Because you took him to court he´ll think twice before he´ll do it again (whatever the outcome is) and you have probably saved another girl from the same thing happening to them. You´ll get little stars in heaven! Think positive thoughts, you are great!