They aren't seeking you out, specifically. They reach out to anyone they can, and they wait to see who responds. Most people immediately delete these messages, cross the street to walk away, or report this kind of behavior to the authorities. But you respond. That's the difference. If you want to change your behavior, you need to STOP RESPONDING to this man. You also really do need therapy because your thinking is just really off. I don't mean that as critical; I am just really concerned about your safety.