These last words said by my mother to me before I moved are hunting me now, day and night. I have a hard time sleeping, a hard time eating, a hard time breathing. Why couldn't she just let me go? Why did she has to say something?

" Between the 8 children that I have it's you that I prefer, that I love the most. Even if you have hurt me, I still love you. You could do anything to me, I would still love you." that's what she said.

But what did I do to hurt her? I don't know what I did. I was always gentle to her. I have never replied back to her when she was crushing me down, putting me in pieces. I'm almost sure I didn't do anything wrong in my adult life to hurt her. Could she be talking about my childhood? I don't remember at all my childhood, I have blocked everything of this part of my life. Under 12 years old I don't remember nothing. Maybe I have hurt her just by being born.

I'm just talking to myself.
nightdream