i guess i knew that it would be. nothing could live up to the last one lol. talked a little bit about work and mostly about... message boards.

i guess the idea is that... i don't know how to see something... don't know how to describe it. have a whole heap of hurt feelings and anger and stuff and i'm not really doing so well of making sense of it myself. i guess that is why i thought it was important to talk about it. (should tell him that, huh).

weird thing was that i was telling him about people on boards... and about how such good friendships can develop etc etc etc. emphasising the similarity to ftf and saying how in some respects it might be even better... and then he said 'our time is about up' which is a cue for me to make sure i'm together and refocusing on what i need to do next. when he said that... i realised how much i'd really curled up in on myself. the back of my eyes or maybe a bit behind that - in my head. all curled up in on myself. talking about meeting people (people outside of myself) and when i think of connecting with them curling up in on myself. weird.

weird.

i said that i'd noticed that i'd curled up in on my head. that maybe it wasn't much like ftf after all. that i really don't think... that i'd want to meet people who i talk to on boards IRL. not really. except for one... and when the opportunity came i didn't do it (though admittedly i had a pretty good reason).

but our time was up. he said something about 'i don't think that this isn't important but....' and our time was up.

hmm.

how are you doing?
all you people in my head...
lol
i feel weird.