I relate heavily - things happen to other people, but not to me.

I also get this anxiety more and more that all my goals and internal narratives are the product of delusion. After all, I'm only one person out of seven billion, I'm not special or chose in any way, what right do I have to feel anything? Nothing will ever happen, maybe I'm just stuck like this. Then eventually I swing to the other side and want to make something of myself, want to make myself matter, make my story not a joke.

It's awful.