Reading through the progression of these posts, it seems like you are convincing yourself, all by yourself, that you in fact are made up of so much more than your eating disorder. That's really cool and I hope you are able to see that as well because in the end, you ultimately have to make peace with yourself even if a hundred people gave you truthful qualities that make you more than your ed. I spent years thinking that anorexia was my identity and then slowly and painfully I realized I had completely lost myself to the disease and if I was to live for something, it wasn't going to be a sickness that destroyed me. Soccer seems to be something that makes you feel alive and purposeful so hold onto that tightly. And keep your mind open to different people or opportunities that may give you a new avenue to add to the list of your positive defining qualities. I hope you keep posting here about your thoughts, successes.