That's the hard thing about this is because all we have is what we believe. No one can saw what is right or wrong because we just don't know.

What we believe and what we know are two different things. We won't know until we get there of what the end is.

I'm sorry these thoughts are so troubling to you. OCD medicine could help if these thoughts are compulsive and you just can't turn them off. Have you talked to a psychiatrist? He would be able to help you understand if there are medication that could help you.

Is your therapist any help? If not maybe find a new one that can help with this issue?