The use if touch in therapy certainly was a deal breaker for me. Not just hugs but generally, a touch of the hand etc.

I read what you said gowleycat and thought 'ouch', I know for me if my T implied or I thought I had to meet requirements to have touch then I would manipulate my situation to achieve those requirements. Maybe that wasn't what you meant but how I read it.

It is used spontaniousely or if I ask for it, and I know my T would prefer the latter and I think she would meet those needs if I asked. That is empowering for me, teaching me that if I ask then it is a way to get what I want from other people rather than just assuming that they don't want to be anywhere near me etc.

The spontaneity is also good because it is teaching me that I am not untouchable, that I am OK.

I understand what was said about hearing that others getting hugs makes it worse for some and I am so sorry for that. There was definitely a time that I felt that too, which was why I asked every T, specifically, what was their policy on the use of touch in therapy. The one I see was one of the only ones to say that she believed it has a very real and important place at times.

EDIT to add that I am posting about the use of it because when I was T searching I thought I was going mad looking for something that didn't exist and reading other people's experience of the use of touch in therapy was what kept me going on my search.