Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylin
Basically he explained there was no damage done to property and nothing stolen so it isn't criminal trespass,it is civil trespass,and the problem is there is no actual evidence she's been in my house and there is only my word for it stuff has been moved about.
|
That's what I was told, too. The police can't do anything besides take a report if you can't prove the person was in your house. And where I am--Texas, USA--they count any break-in as a burglary.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylin
It is frightening me when you say your stalker sees every attempt to block them as a challenge to overcome.I am frightened my sister is determined to do that too and her ultimate goal is to bring about my death.
|
I've read a number of books on stalkers, and security experts say that this type of harassment is a form of
psychological warfare, and is about power--that is, the stalker wants power over you. It's really another form of rape, just one that goes on for a long time.
This is why doing anything to stop them is often viewed as a challenge to overcome--to them, blocking them takes away their power over you. So, blocking them often escalates things, such as my getting a new phone number leading to the break-ins. Security experts often even advise against restraining orders, saying they just make things worse.
However, try to
be assured that security experts say that harassment/stalking rarely leads to physical violence. I know that doesn’t necessarily help much because it’s hard not to be hyper-vigilent about it all. Staying calm about it is easier said than done.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylin
Isn't it worth for you to get the simple alarm even though you don't sleep in the house,at least every time it goes off you will know he's paid another visit?
|
Since I’m not currently living in the condo—I’m with my folks--it wouldn’t work because I wouldn’t be there to turn off the alarm, which I’m sure would upset the neighbors when they got home.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylin
I was reassured by the policeman saying he would file the domestic violence report and he said if I change the locks there is no way she can get in.So it should mean I am safe but it is daft part of me fears even if I change the locks she can still get in,that is how crazy and irrational I am thinking now cos she has freaked me out big time.
|
Your sister would have to be so determined to keep breaking in that she would have to learn to pick locks. I doubt she knows how to do this now as most people don't know how to do this.
I changed the locks twice, and it didn’t keep this guy out, but that’s because he’s been picking the locks. And locksmiths will tell you that, if someone really wants to get in your house, there is nothing you can do to stop them. Even so-called “non-pickable locks” are quite pick-able.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylin
I am giving her more power than she has cos I know how devious and cunning she is and how she can break the law and get away with it,she drove me to suicidal actions twice in the past.She is a narcissist and a sadist and she hates me big time I suspect she is obsessed with me too cos she tried to steal my identity ,my interests, my life.
|
That is very wise of you—don’t give her more power by letting her make you crazy. As much as you can, don’t help her harm you by getting yourself wound up by what she does. Like I said, this kind of thing is a form of
psychological warfare and we can help out the enemy by falling into their traps. I know firsthand how hard it can be to not let what they do get to you. Just try your best.
There’s a great book by Gavin DeBecker called “The Gift of Fear.” He is a very famous, very successful security expert (For one thing, he has headed up the security for several American presidents.) He deals with this kind of thing all the time and this book is full of great advice that will help you keep a perspective on what’s happening. Besides, it’s a great read, a really super, interesting book. I strongly suggest you read this book.
Please keep me updated on all this. (You really can't know what it's like to go through something like this unless it's happened to you.)
--Ceara1010