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Stable (have been for a while now). It's awful. All these greys. All my stupid behaviour to make them into blacks and whites. All the effort it takes to keep me from doing that. And I hate myself for not being appreciative and for being this hopeless, stuck yet unencumbered.
Edit:
Hopeless and it's depressing.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
Last edited by Icare dixit; Jun 16, 2016 at 10:25 PM.
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