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SecretGarden said:
I have a feeling I do not want this person but maybe it is just the brand of therapy.

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SG, why did you choose this person if you think you don't want him? What is the brand of therapy? You can always go meet him and ask his ideas for therapy and see if they resonate with you.

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Did you shop and how did you do it?

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No, I didn't shop. With my first counselor, I was too far gone. I needed immediate help and support and went through my EAP and took the first person who agreed to meet with me. Frankly, I could have talked to a dog. With my second (current) therapist, I was done with the first, out of therapy for a while, but profoundly stuck and needing to move forward. A family member found his name through a friend of hers who is a divorce lawyer. The lawyer gave her my therapist's name and number as someone who had helped many people take the first steps toward divorce. Sounded like what I needed so I called. What was there to lose? I liked him immediately. I asked him very few questions because I didn't know what I needed. I relied on a lot of intangibles, such as how he made me feel, and his warmth and empathy. He projected confidence and gave me hope at the first session, which helped my depression; he talked about healing, which I liked; and he had some insights into why experiences from my childhood were affecting my ability to end the marriage. So, really, what was critical for me was getting a good recommendation, and what I learned from my T at our very first session. I think it is good the guy you will see has been recommended to you.