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Jun 16, 2016, 10:23 PM
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Ny
Posts: 860
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Quote:
Originally Posted by just2b
So I came here to post something, and before I decided to post, I read some other posts, and immediately could relate for some are similar to what I am about to post here.
First, I am so lonely. I have zero friends, and talk to no one. If I do begin to talk to someone, another part will sabotage the friendship or will become distant and stop communication. I hate the lonely life. I want to have a friend to talk to and go out and do things with, but either male or female parts push them away. I am tired of trying to tell parts that time is different now and that I can do this myself.
Second, I am currently attending school. I take an online class and in five days suppose to attend a class on campus. Suddenly, I feel this disinterest in attending and doing homework. This is summer sessions so the one that I am in right now will end July 24, but I am not sure if I will make it to turn in work due June 15. I did my project due for tomorrow with a "so what kind of mood" and it will come through in my work. I am enrolled in Graphic Design. I am currently having a hard time applying the concepts of design in my own designs. I just texted T today, that I am thinking of withdrawing from school. She asked if we could talk Monday. I am setting a bad example for my 15 year old son and 8 year old son.
Currently, I wish that I could experience the life of a singleton for a moment. Just to see how it is. I seem to be unable to keep myself present for very long, haha I highly doubt I am truly present right now as I type this. I dont know what are my own thoughts and feelings vs what is another parts. I dont know what it is that i want to do. I get these great ideas, as if I could do anything, and soon it comes crumbling down and I dont care for much else or whatever it is that I started. Its not part of my goals anymore. Jumping from one idea to another with accomplishment of ZERO.
Just wondering if anyone that works ....how do you do it? I already have my next idea to work, but I dont know what to do. How do you figure out what works for you and your system? I want to do something and not just sit at home. I am bored.
Otherwise I guess to those that can relate...I am one that can relate to you too.
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I can relate to what your saying. I tend to dissociate and sometimes it consumes my life. I have a part-time job that was tiresome and then I was going to school with at that time an 11 year old and a 7 year old. It was tough meeting deadlines and I ended withdrawing because if not I would fail the semester. I tried to go back the next semester but now I was graduating later and in a worse position. I was meeting deadlines there until I had an issue with a professor and I could discouraged and everything went downhill again. Needless to say, I wished I was more in tune and I should've tried so much harder. I needed up failing that semester and now I'm at a mush worse position. When I look back at where I was then and where I am now I get so depressed. My kids were there to watch it all and they thought I was the greatest things. They are not too sure of what happened with school and Ive never explained. They know we've been having a tough time overall. I think it's wise to withdraw if your head is not in it to prevent what I did. You can always go back when you feel more ready to. I think that perhaps we need to process things and give ourselves a little break at times and although it might seem like a step backwards it actually isn't. It's almost like stopping to catch your breath in order to continue with your goals and life.
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