Yesterday, I received news that my daughter's father was sentenced to 25 years in prison, parole after ten years. My daughter's dad was arrested August 2015 for manufacturing/distribution of Methamphetamine mainly, along with a slew of other charges. Due to his past criminal history and the multitude of his current charges, the judge just threw the book at him, I guess. I was in shock to say the least. I assumed that he would do some time but I never, ever expected it to be 25 years!

I met my daughter's dad, Josh, three years ago after splitting up with my then-fiance. I was strung out on Oxy & Benzos, looking for anyone to fill the void. I never planned on having a child with him so I didn't really care about his past or what he was doing in his life...and who the hell was I to judge anyone?? After 6 months of a tumultuous relationship, I found out I was pregnant. I was a suicidal junkie having a child with a sociopathic dope user/dealer. It was a damn sad shame. He left when I was four months pregnant, at which time I was desperately trying to get my life together for my unborn child.

Fast Forward to the present; I am on the road to building a better life for my daughter, going on a year clean (minus one slip). So here's the thing, I am very sad about my daughter's dad going to prison...not b/c I want him. Honestly, I wouldn't want him to be in her life the way he was before going to jail. I don't know how to feel about it. Its like reality finally hit me that he will never be there for her, and its my fault for being so ****ed up that I couldn't choose a better man to procreate with. I am seriously considering not having any further communication with him. He doesn't call except when he wants something, he is clearly a sociopath. If his nonchalant attitude about parenting was completely due to drug use, wouldn't he have regrets now that he is clean? Do I keep my daughter from her father? I always said I would never be that girl, keeping my kid from her dad.

Any advice on this UNREAL situation would be much appreciated. I am struggling to process these emotions right now. I have no one to talk to about this. My parents are biased and just want to **** talk her father. I am such a softie that I always make a billion excuses to give him the benefit of the doubt about everything. I really need some unbiased opinions on this fiasco.