Okay. I have had exactly the same experience as you. If I wake up at 4:00 or 4:30 a.m. I definitely feel better than when I wake up at 8:00 a.m. Because we both (and others) have had this experience it seems perhaps it is related to cortisol, which is stronger more towards 8:00 a.m. Psychologically, I like the feeling that when I wake up at 4:00 a.m. I can stay up and have a few quiet hours before the day starts. I will have coffee, read, write in my journal, and take a hot bath. I have tried to establish a routine of getting up at 4 a.m. but then I have to try to get to sleep by 8 p.m., which is not always feasible. I absolutely and totally agree with you that the whole thing is bizarre, frustrating, and scary. I, too, am working myself out of a long depression. Presently I am moving so it is shaking things up, for the better, I hope. I have so much to think about with endless lists. It's particularly difficult moving all by myself, and doing it depressed and anxious. "Doing life" depressed and anxious is something only those who experience it for themselves can relate to. It is so very difficult.

From what I have read MOST people eventually recover from depression regardless of the level of treatment. Some take medication, others opt for medication and therapy, and still others tough it out and use self-help measures. When you are inside depression it feels like a solid situation that will never change. But remember, even in Groundhog Day eventually the situation changed and improved!

I also read that if you drink an energy drink that contains taurine in the morning that the taurine somehow dampens the effects of cortisol (which is what causes me to have agitated depression sometimes in the morning) -- I tried it but I didn't really see much difference and I don't like the way energy drinks with taurine taste - and they are expensive.

Keep experimenting! Keep up! This too shall pass!